Today’s article is about a topic that I believe we can all relate to. It’s about the unnecessary ‘drama’ we sometimes get drawn into. When I say ‘drama’ I’m referring to any situation where we find ourselves feeling highly emotional – in a negative way.
Here’s an example of drama. A friend calls you and immediately starts talking about a co-worker who is not doing his job properly. Your friend is feeling angry and resentful. As you continue to listen to your friend talk about this, you start to feel your energy draining from you, or maybe you start feeling angry as well, and join in on the conversation about how irresponsible this person must be.
You see where this is going, right? The negative energy around this situation is growing and expanding. If you were feeling happy and calm before your friend called, that’s gone now. You have allowed yourself to get sucked into your friend’s drama.
That’s an everyday drama. There are also past dramas that you may have never let go of. They could be certain times in your life where you experienced a great deal of hurt, anger, pain, jealousy, or loss.
I’ll give you an example. Back when I was 21, I went through a difficult breakup and felt like my whole world was coming to an end…lots of drama. How did I deal with it? I packed up my belongings, hopped on a train, and moved 1500 km away to the city where I’ve lived since then.
I found an apartment and a job, and then made some friends. I wasn’t happy and the friends I chose weren’t happy people either. There were daily dramas in those friendships. I unknowingly chose friends who were a match to my fragile and negative emotional state.
I was disconnected from my inner self and didn’t know how to heal from the breakup, so I filled my mind and my time with lots of stress and drama. I focused on all of the small, petty, negative situations that had become a part of my everyday life…and I didn’t know how to stop.
But guess what?
Drama is a habit, just like any other unproductive habit we may have. When we live with lots of drama in our lives, we keep ourselves in a negative mindset. Living with drama interferes with our ability to connect deeply with ourselves and move toward our dreams.
When I was finally ready to heal from the pain of the breakup, I knew somehow that I needed to decrease the drama in my life. I eventually got rid of toxic friendships, I started taking better care of myself and my health, and I found ways to manage the feelings of stress and other negative emotions. It took time, but I worked hard to cut down on the drama. I was a whole lot happier after that and then I found myself making new and exciting plans for the next phase of my life.
If you are struggling with drama in your life, and you can’t seem to get away from it, there are ways in which you can help yourself break free of the drama habit.
Step 1 – Make a choice. Set your intention. Decide that you are no longer going to be ruled by drama.
Step 2 – When you notice yourself starting to get pulled into a drama, stop yourself from going deeper. Try this technique: Take a deep breath and then, in your mind, detach from the situation and simply observe it as an outsider. Instead of allowing yourself to engage with the drama and become upset, switch your perspective and become indifferent, as though you are just stepping back and watching.
You may be thinking – oh, that won’t work – and maybe it won’t work every time – but keep yourself open to the possibility that this technique just might work. Breaking the habit of engaging in drama may not happen overnight, but with practice, you’ll get better and better at it.
7 Practical Steps to Stopping the Drama
Let’s do an exercise now to make it more relevant to you. For best results, write your responses in a notebook.
- Think about a recent situation where you became engaged in a drama. It could be your own drama or someone else’s. It could be something big or small.
- When you have that in your mind, take your notebook and write a few words that describe the drama.
- Imagine yourself engaging in the drama. Watch from the outside as you get caught up in the situation. How does it make you feel? Write down your feelings associated with being a part of the drama.
- Imagine the same situation, and this time, imagine that you are completely detached from it. You are neutral and simply curious. As you watch the drama start to unfold, you see yourself calmly taking a step back and then walking away from it. Maybe the drama is continuing without you or maybe it stopped when you walked away. Either way, it doesn’t matter. You observe yourself choosing to not be involved in that drama because you know it doesn’t serve you or the other people involved to go down that negative road. You’re completely detached. Now how are you feeling in that scenario? Write down your feelings.
- Keep observing that situation from a place of detachment. There are lessons we can learn from every experience. Look at that experience from all angles and ask yourself what you can learn from it. Ask your inner self and then wait for an answer. When you have the answer, write it down.
- Look at your notes and compare how you felt when you were engaged in the drama versus how you felt when you simply observed the drama as a detached outsider.
- As you go through the next several days, be on the lookout for potential dramas that may start from you or from someone else. Make a decision now to not become involved and engaged in the dramas, but to observe from a detached perspective. Every time you’re successful in walking away from a drama, congratulate yourself and make a note about it in your notebook. Celebrate every little success you have.
As you get better and better at stepping away from dramas, you’ll create more space in your life to welcome in all the exciting adventures that are waiting for you to explore. As with anything in life, with consistent practice, this will get easier.
Feel free to share your successes with us in the comment section. 🙂
P.S. As you get better at disengaging from drama and focusing on moving your life forward in a positive way, you may find that you’re ready to create more freedom for yourself. When that time comes, know that there is an opportunity for all of us to do this. Click here to meet our mentor and find out how we’re making this happen.Let's Keep In Touch...